Tag Archives: love

An Open Letter of Thanks to the People in My Life

On October 11th, I was standing in the Denver airport, having just spent four exhausting but incredible days writing my guts out on my memoir, Hell is for Children, in Estes Park. I’d done some intense trauma work with two other beautiful women in this process and was emotionally drained, but satisfied with the path I was on that will end in a completed manuscript.

I’d also seen a bunch of elk, which was very cool.



The first thing I saw when I opened the curtains in my bedroom one morning


That day, I’d driven around Denver and caught up with my dear friend Matt, who left Portland four years ago.


Matt Bauer


And  I finally met Megan Nico DiLullo in person after having first met on The Nervous Breakdown 7 years ago. As per the custom of our people, we had to get a photograph with fake mustaches attached to our face perineums (which is what we chose to call the divot between the nose and the upper lip).




By the time I arrived at the airport, I was spent. Ready to process the last five days of my life, but uneager to return to Real Life. After passing through security, I was watching the sky outside the windows of the airport turn dark with the approaching storm, and feeling very much like I didn’t want to return to the Pacific Northwest. I don’t mean to my children, cat, job, friends – but to the dark skies and constant drizzle. The desert is where my heart is.


denver sky


But then, as the announcement that my flight was boarding came, my phone rang. It was my son, Indigo, one of my two nearly-15-year-old twin boys. He was at Dad’s house for the week, but happened by my house to grab a warmer jacket. “Hey, mom. I just came by your house to grab something,” he said. “The backdoor is standing wide open. Do you know why?” Continue reading



Filed under Memoir

I Know We’ve Come a Long Way

Indigo came home from school sick yesterday. Technically, it was his dad’s day, but I live closer to the school and he wasn’t feeling well enough to bus across the southeast to Jim’s house. So, as luck would have it, he was here. Also as luck would have it, Portland experienced its greatest wind storm in 33 years yesterday.

Around 3PM, while at work, I got a call from Indigo. I was in the middle of three critical deadlines, and about to meet with the COO, but I answered my phone anyway. This is my rule: there’s nothing at work more important than a call from my children. I even answered a phone call from them during my interview for the job. “Sorry,” I said when I sat down. “My kids are going to get home from school midway through this interview, and they’re going to call me nonstop until they get me on the phone to let me know they’re home. I’ll answer really quickly, acknowledge them, then get right off. I hope that’s okay.”

So, Indigo calls me yesterday when I was in the middle of all the things, and he says, “Mom! The neighbor’s tree just fell onto our house! It shook the whole foundation and everything!”

“What?” I asked. “Holy shit – Indigo, are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine,” he said. “Can I have some chips?” Continue reading


Filed under Memoir